John Key to allow merger with the United States

John Key meeting with Obama

In a shocking turn of events Prime Minster John Key has announced he had plans to make New Zealand into the 51st state of the United States of America.

 This comes just weeks after John Keys last attempt to join another country, the vote to join Australia was 51-69 against. Andrew Little commented that if John Key liked Obama so much "why doesn't he marry him." John Key responded later that he "liked Obama but only as a friend" brushing aside criticisms that he had brought flowers last time he visited them stating that "it was a traditional Maori gift."

At press time John Key revealed plans to hold a referendum promising to only dismiss the parts he didn't like. The Obama administration also released this statement

"Speaking adjectivally John Key is a man of good moral and high social standing which is beneficial in this time with the economic resurgence and war with Isis."

The New Zealand Bite is seeking spin doctors to translate this.